i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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