Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
