U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
