i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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