i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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