please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
