dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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