no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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