Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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