i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
