ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
