I don't usually arrange sex via text message
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
