Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
vagina is talking i cant
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
