i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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