so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
