I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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