Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
