Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
