i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
