nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
