We're like a lot better than the average bears
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
