Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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