TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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