Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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