and i looked up. we had an audience...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
