Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Randomize
