May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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