thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.