there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
