WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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