just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize