yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
