idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
