So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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