I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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