If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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