I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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