i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So much Jack, so little girl.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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