just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm at about main and main street
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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