come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
