In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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