mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize