she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize