i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
