Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
