I want to stick my p in your. b.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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