I'm so fucking centered right now
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
