Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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