i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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