I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
