Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
