I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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