She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
50% drunk capacity currently
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
