i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
