dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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