My brain says no but my pants say off.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
