I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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