So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
