guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my shit smells like andre
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize