You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
