I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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