the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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